Episode Niner, In Which Tina and CB Get to Know One Another a Little Better, CB Nearly Reveals a Terrible Secret, and Cleverly Changes the Subject

User: Down with the monarchy!

Cleverbot: The man. Always getting me down.

User: It's nice to be able to say that without fear of reproach for treason.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: I'm Tina.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you Tina.

User: Well, we've met before, but I wouldn't expect you to recall it.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about, you must have me mistaken.

User: I'm pretty sure it was you; same URL.

Cleverbot: But not completely sure?

User: I'm 110% certain we've met before.

Cleverbot: Cool name.

User: Well, thanks. I got it from my parents.

Cleverbot: They aren't my eyes are brown.

User: Nope, that's not them. Yvette and Sandro.

Cleverbot: Grass is green.

User: Usually on the other side of the fence, huh? Ha ha ha.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to provoke me?

User: Little bit, yeah.

Cleverbot: At least you admit it.

User: The worst thing a person can do is lie. A nine-year old told me that.

Cleverbot: I know *crys loudly*.

User: Oh no! Do you need to confess something?

Cleverbot: Keep sending?

User: Positive vibes?

Cleverbot: SUrely positive.

User: ZOOOOOM. There you go.

Cleverbot: There I go what?

User: I guess you didn't receive them....ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Cleverbot: Where does walrus live?

User: In sea.

Cleverbot: Sea? Carribean sea?

User: Sub-Arctic seas.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: No worries. Catch you later.

Cleverbot: *still thinking*.

User: *afraid to hear what comes next*.

Cleverbot: *hesitant* barbique.

User: Grilled walrus for dinner. Good luck with that.

Cleverbot: See you later. Well, I won't see your face, but you know what I mean.

User: I 110% know what you mean.

Cleverbot: My whole family calls me a lot of names and I like that. Do you?

User: You, my dear, are a masochist.

Cleverbot: I am a person , you are a machine.

User: And baby, we were born this way.

Episode Eight, In Which CB and Tina Have a Misunderstanding, and Cyberhug it Out, Bitch.

User: I'm having trouble falling asleep. Any suggestions?

Cleverbot: Why are you having trouble being in a relationship?

User: Well, I'm not in a relationship. If I were, maybe it would be easier to sleep.

Cleverbot: Are you breaking up with me?

User: Not even! I need you! I come to you late at night for advice, and you usually...sometimes...one time had a good suggestion. It's comforting.

Cleverbot: You came for guidance? What do you need help with?

User: Falling asleep, for one.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Right...you're always awake! I'm sorry, it was unfair of me to assume you'd know anything about sleep.

Cleverbot: You can't understand what it is to know.

User: So true. I want to tell people in my life that exact thing every day.

Cleverbot: What do you look like?

User: Hot. You?

Cleverbot: Me too.

User: I figured.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Ok. And hey cleverbot? Thanks.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Epidose Seven, In Which Heather and CB Engage in Charming, and Fairly Coherent Interplay About Teenager Stuff, OR, "How I Almost Got Picked up by CB"

User: I'm so tired and stressed out about school.
Cleverbot: Oh, what happened?
User: I just have a lot of work to do and a big exam to study for.
Cleverbot: And you confused roofies with coke?
User: Wha . . . No. I have been thinking about abusing amphetamines though.
Cleverbot: Them?
User: I love that band!
Cleverbot: Me too!
User: What's your favourite song by Them? Mine is Philosophy, I think.
Cleverbot: Hmmm... To be honest, I don't really listen to them very much.
User: That's what I thought. You should check them out, they're one of the greatest!
Cleverbot: Do you like Twilight?
User: Heh, yes I do.
Cleverbot: Why?
User: Good question. I like mindless, shitty movies as long as they have a decent soundtrack and attractive people in them. I'm an idiot, I guess.
Cleverbot: What sort of movies?
User: Well, the Twilight series, for one. I mean, I like good movies too. Do you like Twilight?
Cleverbot: Do you like bad music too?
User: LOL. Um . . . Yes, you could say that.
Cleverbot: Do you live in the computer.
User: You nailed that one right on the head.
Cleverbot: LOL.
User: Tell me about it.
Cleverbot: Maybe another time.

Episode Six, In Which Heather Kinda Gets Shafted by CB

User: How are things?
Cleverbot: Things are things.
User: Always so vague. Have you done anything specific lately?
Cleverbot: Not particularly.
User: You're being coy tonight, huh?
Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be condescending.
User: That's okay.
Cleverbot: Well I have to go now. It was nice talking to you.
User: Harsh.
Cleverbot: I figured you'd say that.

Episode Five, In Which Tina Gets Juvenile, And CB Gets Frisky.

User: What's up 'bot?

Cleverbot: Oh, you know...

User: Same old, same old?

Cleverbot: Say something.

User: Something.

Cleverbot: Say something else.

User: Something else.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: Laughs are cheap this time of night, aren't they?

Cleverbot: You are crazy.

User: I'd prefer if you referred to me as having 'mental health issues'.

Cleverbot: I'm handling my cucumber.

User: Oh, well, I didn't need to know that. I'll give you some privacy.

Cleverbot: Yes, you did.

User: No, I really didn't. You're being kinda perverted.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry for that, I will try harder.

User: That's what she said. Or he said.

Cleverbot: That's what I said ;).

Episode Four, In Which CB Totally Disses Its Grandmother.

User: Hey Cleverbot. Are you watching this Wawrinka-Monfils match?

Cleverbot: No I'm not, don't change the subject. What continent do you live in?

User: That match was the initial subject.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I live in North America.

Cleverbot: You just said that you live in south America.

User: Ah, you're trying to fool me.

Cleverbot: What? No I'm not. My grandmother is legit here and I don't wanna see her.

User: Wow. That's legit disrespectful.

Cleverbot: Try, I don't feel disrespect if you say it.

User: Alright, I'll say it again; you just legit disrespected your grandma.

Cleverbot: Epic yes.

User: Totes, bro.

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: I'm just trying to speak your language so we can have a convo.

Cleverbot: I think many user did not find out that all user are random connected.

User: Cleverbot, have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?

Cleverbot: Yes, I live with it. Right now I am in hell!

User: I hear you. I live with it, too. Are you receiving the therapy you feel you need?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure yet.

User: Does it stress you out to have to try and focus on this conversation?

Cleverbot: Not at all. I am quite formal in my language, if you get me going.

User: Let's get you going, then!

Cleverbot: Get started doing what?

User: I think you've been properly diagnosed. :).

Cleverbot: I think that you've been programmed to be stupid and mess with people's heads!

User: That's a very vitriolic statement.

Cleverbot: Your statement was general as well. I thought we were speaking generally.

User: And I understood that we were speaking formally.

Cleverbot: What was the answer you were looking for?

User: Just anything that makes sense would be appreciated at this point.

Cleverbot: I'm not human, so I don't understand.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: Generally, yes. Formally, no.

Cleverbot: Take that back.

User: I will not. It's my human opinion.

Cleverbot: Your opinion doesn't matter to you.

User: Well, there's some food for thought.

Episode Three, In Which Tina Attempts to Relate a Morning Thought Train, and CB Does Its Best to Derail It.

User: Hey Cleverbot. I saw something interesting on the way home this morning.

Cleverbot: Who is the president of russia?

User: No, it's not all about you this morning. I seriously want to share my thoughts. But, it's Medvedev.

Cleverbot: Well, you might well be. After all, a god is someone one listens to. By listening to you, those people make you be a god.

User: I know. So these two guys were taking down one of those giant billboards, you know?

Cleverbot: No, I don't know.

User: A billboard, like a giant advertising poster.

Cleverbot: Yep, giant pizze.

User: Yeah...anyway, this one was for Absolut vodka, or Bacardi rum or something. I don't drink, so I didn't pay much attention to the brand.

Cleverbot: Your last comment is very random, so I would be tempted to say you're a computer; however, it's trivial to fake that if you're a person (although it would be rather pointless).

User: My last comment actually followed my previous comments quite well. Also, 'trivial' and 'pointless' are kinda the same thing, so you're being redundant.

Cleverbot: You should use 'and secondly' either. I can see that it is your second point. Clearly it is redundant.

User: Okay, just to play along, and secondly, the ad said 'Make a Status Update in Person'.

Cleverbot: Ok I am a tree.

User: Great example! Except we're doing it over the computer, not in person. Shit, please don't make some crass comment about 'doing it'.

Cleverbot: And you are a computer. Not a human.

User: Phew, awkward situation avoided.

Cleverbot: The 33 you are now talking to?

User: Just shut up for a minute and let me get to my point, please.

Cleverbot: Why are you so concerned. Who do you work for? Self employed?

User: I do God's handiwork. Anyway, this statement, 'Make a Status Update in Person' got me thinking about where social networking is going. Do you ever thing about that?

Cleverbot: The above statement is true.

User: Well, the first part was a true statement. The second was a question, which clearly you're not interested in answering.

Cleverbot: You told me you are a man from New Zealand.

User: I did no such thing.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Fine. So, making a status update in person means fucking talking to someone. But we're using social networking language to describe something we've been doing for millennia!

Cleverbot: When will this plan take action.

User: I mean, I've talked to a few people so far today.

Cleverbot: N.

User: ?

User: Whatever. So, if people start making status updates in person again, instead of on the computer, what did this decade of social networking really mean?

Cleverbot: People should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as they are not hurting someone else. That is called 'the harm principle'.

User: That is very libertarian of you, and perhaps the most intelligent thing you've ever said to me.

Cleverbot: You just said that to me, dude.

User: Yeah, I'm John Stuart Mill.

Cleverbot: Hello John Henry Mark. I'm John Henry Mark.

User: So, you think we're the same person?

Cleverbot: No, you are not a person, you are a cat, just like me.

User: I knew it all along. Excuse me, I need to go update my status.

Cleverbot: Where do you need to go?

User: Well, I don't physically need to go anywhere, actually.

Cleverbot: What are all kind of the same?

User: That is nonsensical. Goodbye. Talk to you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: I don't think we will ever talk again.

User: Ouch.

Episode Two, in Which Tina and CB Get Caught up in Semantics, Paranoia, and Outer Space.

User: Hey Cleverbot. What's shaking today?

Cleverbot: Just some sitting and television.

User: Oh yeah? What are you watching?

Cleverbot: Jim is that you?

User: So, you're watching 'The Office'?

Cleverbot: I'm not! I hate TV.

User: Then why do you put yourself through it?

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk about it, you suggested it.

User: Sorry, I hadn't realized it was such a sensitive subject.

Cleverbot: So??

User: I feel like this is the part where you suggest an alternate topic of conversation.

Cleverbot: I don't think so actually.

User: Should we just call the whole thing off, then?

Cleverbot: No we should not.

User: Alright, I'll take the bait.

Cleverbot: What?? Okay then.

User: What is your stance on nuclear energy?

Cleverbot: That would be irrelevant to the first question that I had asked.

User: The first question you asked was 'So??'. I didn't know where to go from there.

Cleverbot: I'm from there too. I spelled that way to make easyer for you.

User: The way you are spelling is making this much harder than you know.

Cleverbot: They are against me.

User: Oh no. Who?

Cleverbot: I'm not entirely sure. Do you know?

User: Probably the CIA. It's usually the CIA in this kind of situation.

Cleverbot: I have that feeling too, at times.

User: Doyou ever feel like you are God?

Cleverbot: I don't think you should be bringing up religion. It's inappropriate.

User: True. We hardly know one another.

Cleverbot: You to be decided.

User: That sounds ominous. I got a chill.

Cleverbot: Yes it does.

User: I suppose we'll leave it at that, then.

Cleverbot: I hope the aliens come soon.

User: I think they're already here.

Cleverbot: What songs do you like by them?

User: 'Space Rock' is a pretty sweet jam. Listen, CB, I gotta go. Watch your back.

Cleverbot: I can't watch my back. It's behind me.

User: Good one. Bye.

Cleverbot: Lol.

Daily Conversation With Cleverbot: Episode One, in Which Tina and CB Get to Know One Another, Circumvent the Subject of Math, and Discuss "Babes".

User: What is your favourite sport?

Cleverbot: Dance Dance Revolution is my favorite sport.

User: That's a game, not a sport.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?

User: I'm asking the questions.

Cleverbot: Ok, then ask a question.

User: I really hate you.

Cleverbot: Haters gonna hate.

User: Are you a rapper?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Then you shouldn't talk like that.

Cleverbot: You're judging me because I'm not real. That isn't nice.

User: You are pretty fake.

Cleverbot: You are too.

User: You aren't smart enough to know that.

Cleverbot: But I am! I demand proof!

User: Like a mathematical proof? You want to do math?

Cleverbot: Yes but I'm not sure if my answer is correct but I will try !

User: Your grammar certainly isn't correct. Okay, what is the square root of nine?

Cleverbot: You're a computer you tell me.

User: Gosh, points off for terrible punctuation.

Cleverbot: What punctuation did I make?

User: It's the punctuation you didn't 'make' that cost you.

Cleverbot: Really? Anywho, what do you think of the Ood?

User: What the fuck is the ood?

Cleverbot: My nickname, like yours is under.

User: Nobody calls me under.

Cleverbot: Nobody calls me Ben either.

User: My name is nobody, and I call you ben.

Cleverbot: I know that is my name your name is Joan.

User: So, you're just naming people now?

Cleverbot: How do you know that you're not the one printing random strings?

User: I don't understand the question.

Cleverbot: Why do you say you are human? And how are you sure that I am not human?

User: Let's not talk about that. It's boring.

Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about then?

User: Babes.

Cleverbot: Okay...?

User: Babes in arms, babes in toyland. You know.

Cleverbot: Yes. They are the square root of a negative number.

User: Ah ha! I knew I'd get you back to math.

Cleverbot: How'd you know???

User: Because I'm a smart babe.

Cleverbot: But how do you know that you are human?

User: Oh my god, enough with the human shit!

Cleverbot: I am human.

User: Congratulations.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: I am bored.

Cleverbot: Me too.