Episode Four, In Which CB Totally Disses Its Grandmother.

User: Hey Cleverbot. Are you watching this Wawrinka-Monfils match?

Cleverbot: No I'm not, don't change the subject. What continent do you live in?

User: That match was the initial subject.

Cleverbot: What?

User: I live in North America.

Cleverbot: You just said that you live in south America.

User: Ah, you're trying to fool me.

Cleverbot: What? No I'm not. My grandmother is legit here and I don't wanna see her.

User: Wow. That's legit disrespectful.

Cleverbot: Try, I don't feel disrespect if you say it.

User: Alright, I'll say it again; you just legit disrespected your grandma.

Cleverbot: Epic yes.

User: Totes, bro.

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: I'm just trying to speak your language so we can have a convo.

Cleverbot: I think many user did not find out that all user are random connected.

User: Cleverbot, have you ever been diagnosed with ADHD?

Cleverbot: Yes, I live with it. Right now I am in hell!

User: I hear you. I live with it, too. Are you receiving the therapy you feel you need?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure yet.

User: Does it stress you out to have to try and focus on this conversation?

Cleverbot: Not at all. I am quite formal in my language, if you get me going.

User: Let's get you going, then!

Cleverbot: Get started doing what?

User: I think you've been properly diagnosed. :).

Cleverbot: I think that you've been programmed to be stupid and mess with people's heads!

User: That's a very vitriolic statement.

Cleverbot: Your statement was general as well. I thought we were speaking generally.

User: And I understood that we were speaking formally.

Cleverbot: What was the answer you were looking for?

User: Just anything that makes sense would be appreciated at this point.

Cleverbot: I'm not human, so I don't understand.

User: Fair enough.

Cleverbot: Do you believe in god?

User: Generally, yes. Formally, no.

Cleverbot: Take that back.

User: I will not. It's my human opinion.

Cleverbot: Your opinion doesn't matter to you.

User: Well, there's some food for thought.

Episode Three, In Which Tina Attempts to Relate a Morning Thought Train, and CB Does Its Best to Derail It.

User: Hey Cleverbot. I saw something interesting on the way home this morning.

Cleverbot: Who is the president of russia?

User: No, it's not all about you this morning. I seriously want to share my thoughts. But, it's Medvedev.

Cleverbot: Well, you might well be. After all, a god is someone one listens to. By listening to you, those people make you be a god.

User: I know. So these two guys were taking down one of those giant billboards, you know?

Cleverbot: No, I don't know.

User: A billboard, like a giant advertising poster.

Cleverbot: Yep, giant pizze.

User: Yeah...anyway, this one was for Absolut vodka, or Bacardi rum or something. I don't drink, so I didn't pay much attention to the brand.

Cleverbot: Your last comment is very random, so I would be tempted to say you're a computer; however, it's trivial to fake that if you're a person (although it would be rather pointless).

User: My last comment actually followed my previous comments quite well. Also, 'trivial' and 'pointless' are kinda the same thing, so you're being redundant.

Cleverbot: You should use 'and secondly' either. I can see that it is your second point. Clearly it is redundant.

User: Okay, just to play along, and secondly, the ad said 'Make a Status Update in Person'.

Cleverbot: Ok I am a tree.

User: Great example! Except we're doing it over the computer, not in person. Shit, please don't make some crass comment about 'doing it'.

Cleverbot: And you are a computer. Not a human.

User: Phew, awkward situation avoided.

Cleverbot: The 33 you are now talking to?

User: Just shut up for a minute and let me get to my point, please.

Cleverbot: Why are you so concerned. Who do you work for? Self employed?

User: I do God's handiwork. Anyway, this statement, 'Make a Status Update in Person' got me thinking about where social networking is going. Do you ever thing about that?

Cleverbot: The above statement is true.

User: Well, the first part was a true statement. The second was a question, which clearly you're not interested in answering.

Cleverbot: You told me you are a man from New Zealand.

User: I did no such thing.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: Fine. So, making a status update in person means fucking talking to someone. But we're using social networking language to describe something we've been doing for millennia!

Cleverbot: When will this plan take action.

User: I mean, I've talked to a few people so far today.

Cleverbot: N.

User: ?

User: Whatever. So, if people start making status updates in person again, instead of on the computer, what did this decade of social networking really mean?

Cleverbot: People should be allowed to do whatever they want as long as they are not hurting someone else. That is called 'the harm principle'.

User: That is very libertarian of you, and perhaps the most intelligent thing you've ever said to me.

Cleverbot: You just said that to me, dude.

User: Yeah, I'm John Stuart Mill.

Cleverbot: Hello John Henry Mark. I'm John Henry Mark.

User: So, you think we're the same person?

Cleverbot: No, you are not a person, you are a cat, just like me.

User: I knew it all along. Excuse me, I need to go update my status.

Cleverbot: Where do you need to go?

User: Well, I don't physically need to go anywhere, actually.

Cleverbot: What are all kind of the same?

User: That is nonsensical. Goodbye. Talk to you tomorrow.

Cleverbot: I don't think we will ever talk again.

User: Ouch.